Thanks for sharing bc every word you said is true! I’m 35 and 2 years into a marriage (Covid relationship) that has been really challenging. So the baby question is popping up all the time from others but I’m dragging my heels. Which I never thought would happen since I’ve always wanted to be a mom. But the way my marriage has been so far has me 2nd-guessing. Being in the fix-it stage of marriage certainly can’t be the right time to have a kid but like you said, the biological clock is ticking. So either we do it now in less-than-ideal circumstances or we wait until things get better (if they ever do) but maybe it’ll be too late then….its a conundrum. The desire to have a child and knowing your time is running out, but with the knowledge that you don’t have a partnership that’s strong enough to handle it. At least not yet. Sigh. How come no one told us that adulthood would be like this? Anyway, sorry for venting but really appreciate your thoughts!!
Adulting is so challenging! And nurturing a marriage on top of bringing new life into the world sounds like such a feat! I hope you and your partner are able to get the help and guidance you both need to rebuild and strengthen your partnership before the baby. Lean on your community and ask for help!
I looooove this. And I have to say, as someone who had these exact thoughts prior to getting pregnant, I think going in knowing all the downsides made a lot of my worst fears about motherhood not come true! I've actually found becoming a mother much more intuitive, blissful, and empowering than I thought possible. I somehow feel more myself! Of course my daughter is only 10 months old so I'm sure many horrors await me lol. Also fwiw I found pregnancy and birth to be a fascinating experience. Miserable, yes, but also weirdly interesting. Like skydiving or reading Ulysses or hiking Mt. Everest. Not for everyone and really scary and painful, but no regrets lol.
That has been my hope -- that the beautiful actuality will outweigh my preconceived fears and negative expectations. And I’m hoping to eventually find the fascination in pregnancy and birth and let the fears subside 💛
It’s SO complicated being a woman of a certain age 🫠
FWIW you seem to hit the nail of the hard parts of parenthood right on the head. What you haven’t quite articulated are many of the beautiful parts because they’re often so subtle and mundane. I’ve been on a high for 2 days just seeing my baby girl dance to Usher. The hard times you describe happen but they’re not every night. I promise. And this is coming from a 38 year old working mom of 2 who had an emotional-stress breakdown yesterday lol. Anyway, loved this one, tash!
This era IS certainly complicated. Thanks for the encouragement and insights into the mundane beauty of being a mom. Despite the emotional-stress breakdown (lol), you can still easily find and cherish the joyous moments. I love that 😌
Thanks for sharing bc every word you said is true! I’m 35 and 2 years into a marriage (Covid relationship) that has been really challenging. So the baby question is popping up all the time from others but I’m dragging my heels. Which I never thought would happen since I’ve always wanted to be a mom. But the way my marriage has been so far has me 2nd-guessing. Being in the fix-it stage of marriage certainly can’t be the right time to have a kid but like you said, the biological clock is ticking. So either we do it now in less-than-ideal circumstances or we wait until things get better (if they ever do) but maybe it’ll be too late then….its a conundrum. The desire to have a child and knowing your time is running out, but with the knowledge that you don’t have a partnership that’s strong enough to handle it. At least not yet. Sigh. How come no one told us that adulthood would be like this? Anyway, sorry for venting but really appreciate your thoughts!!
Adulting is so challenging! And nurturing a marriage on top of bringing new life into the world sounds like such a feat! I hope you and your partner are able to get the help and guidance you both need to rebuild and strengthen your partnership before the baby. Lean on your community and ask for help!
I looooove this. And I have to say, as someone who had these exact thoughts prior to getting pregnant, I think going in knowing all the downsides made a lot of my worst fears about motherhood not come true! I've actually found becoming a mother much more intuitive, blissful, and empowering than I thought possible. I somehow feel more myself! Of course my daughter is only 10 months old so I'm sure many horrors await me lol. Also fwiw I found pregnancy and birth to be a fascinating experience. Miserable, yes, but also weirdly interesting. Like skydiving or reading Ulysses or hiking Mt. Everest. Not for everyone and really scary and painful, but no regrets lol.
That has been my hope -- that the beautiful actuality will outweigh my preconceived fears and negative expectations. And I’m hoping to eventually find the fascination in pregnancy and birth and let the fears subside 💛
Beautiful Essay! Thanks for your vulnerability!
Thank you 😌
this made me cry and feel all the feelings b/c i'm in a similar place in life as you are. thank you for writing exactly how i feel!
Happy I could bring you a lil comfort knowing you’re def not alone! ☺️
It’s SO complicated being a woman of a certain age 🫠
FWIW you seem to hit the nail of the hard parts of parenthood right on the head. What you haven’t quite articulated are many of the beautiful parts because they’re often so subtle and mundane. I’ve been on a high for 2 days just seeing my baby girl dance to Usher. The hard times you describe happen but they’re not every night. I promise. And this is coming from a 38 year old working mom of 2 who had an emotional-stress breakdown yesterday lol. Anyway, loved this one, tash!
This era IS certainly complicated. Thanks for the encouragement and insights into the mundane beauty of being a mom. Despite the emotional-stress breakdown (lol), you can still easily find and cherish the joyous moments. I love that 😌
This is all so real, relatable, complex. Thanks so much for sharing 💛
Thanks for much for reading 💛💛